Where are these sex clinics? What courses do they offer? Do I have to
practise or can I book myself in straightaway, like Tiger Woods? Russell Brand has been to one and he's had a thousand lovers, so they've obviously got a fantastic success rate. Pine Grove in Mississippi, which is currently home to the reclusive golfer, has even got a
dog which bounds around and makes new guests feel welcome.
Oh, I see, it's actually a drug-sniffing dog. And people go there to wean themselves off sex, not to learn how to do it better. Sorry, but I'm rapidly going off t
he idea, not least because Pine Grove looks exactly like a golf club. Maybe that's why Woods chose it, but he was looking pensive, if not actually glum, when he was snapped in the grounds last week. Frankly, anyone who is willing to pay large quantities of cash to spend six weeks listening to lectures entitled "What is celibacy?" has got a problem, though not necessarily the one he thinks he's got.
Sex addiction has been around for a while now, although it's not recognised as a disorder by the American Psychiatric Association. John F Kennedy behaved like a sex addict in every respect save one, which is that he never gave any sign of thinking his sexual appetite was a problem. One of the few things that can be said in favour of Bill Clinton is that he didn't take the addiction route to excuse his abusive behaviour to women; he just lied about it, and when that didn't work he made up with his wife by trying to help her become President.